One of the most destructive forces that actively works against healing and wholeness is unforgiveness. For anyone who has been abused, physically, sexually or spiritually, for anyone who has been badly betrayed, forgiveness becomes a key issue to deal with. It is absolutely essential that the act of forgiveness be undertaken if healing and wholeness is to take place. A problem for many, is that forgiveness, what it is and how it works is largely misunderstood. This isn’t helped by different interpretations by different religions.
I’ll let you compare the difference, however, let me proceed with the concept that I believe applies to healing and wholeness. This is the idea introduced by the God of Israel and of which we find descriptions and examples in the Hebrew Bible. Wally Spiegler writes.
Extending forgiveness does not imply agreeing with, condoning, or minimizing any personal violation that has occurred. Nor does it necessarily mean reestablishing a relationship with a person who offended you. … When we stay in judgment, hurt, anger or resentment, we remain attached to the person who hurt us, which keeps the negative emotions flowing.
Another way of explaining forgiveness is the decision to give up our right to retribution. It is the nature of the human soul to overdo the payback. The concept of an eye for an eye is not a negative concept. It is dictating that the punishment must match the crime. This is called justice. In our world today, it seems a rare thing for real justice to be achieved. Justice can still be had and perused even after forgiveness has taken place.
Forgiveness does not mean in human terms forgetting. What forgiveness does do is remove the power over you that the offense places on you. There is a powerful word that Yeshua spoke regarding forgiveness.
Matthew 6:14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father shall also forgive you.“But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither shall your Father forgive your trespasses.”
This is something to meditate on, because the benefit promised by those who forgive is magnificent. If you have something that needs to be forgiven, then a metaphorical hole has been dug. That hole needs to be filled in for everything to return to normal. Every hole you and I have dug, every hole that everyone else has dug, including those who have offended, betrayed, abused and in any way harmed us. Ah, and there is the rub. For those who have done something against us, we don’t want their hole filled in. We want them to suffer! How, you ask, is every hole filled in. Well every offense ultimately is against the Creator. If someone injures me, they offend the Creator that made me. The simple beautiful truth is that Yeshua, the brought forth Son of God, His death and resurrection resulted in all the holes being filled in. Added to this is that Yeshua is described as the righteous judge. Everyone will get their just rewards.
Even if you don’t buy into the ‘God’ thing, there is still a valuable principle here. If we do not forgive, we hold onto the burden that troubles us. If God does not forgive our trespass, because we have not forgiven someone else, the burden remains for us to carry. Even though the hole that has been dug can be deemed as being filled in, if we don’t forgive, our holes remain unfilled and we bear the burden of filling them ourselves. As we can never satisfactorily do this, we carry a burden, we can never get rid of if we don’t forgive.
So, how do we forgive? The process is simple, but the battle of the heart can be arduous. The process is the make a decision of the will, to let go of your right to retribution. If you have faith in the God of Israel, you can trust Him to meter out appropriate justice. Because of the work of Yeshua through his death and resurrection, every offense you have committed can be forgiven, removed, as if they never happened. Just as someone who has offended you can never repay their debt, neither can you repay your debt. Whatever, it takes, logic, faith, you need to exercise your will and make a decision to forgive. You then need to feed your heart with truth statements such as;
- I am a person of value and have the right to move on with my life and be free
- God is a just God and will repay evil and judge the unrepentant heart
- I have been forgiven all my trespasses and because I trust in the work of Yeshua, these cannot be held against me, nor can I be made to feel guilty about them.
- I am not to blame that others have violated and/or offended me.
- As God has forgiven me, I can forgive others.
- I don’t need to achieve retribution before I’m able to go on with my life.
To assist in the process, you can use the healing codes, or you can use this simple process below.
- Hold the feeling generated by the offense tightly and fell it with all your might.
- Let it go. (Don’t worry, you can take it back)
- Breath deeply.
- Now take it back, feel the offense again,
- Let it go.
- Breath Deeply,
- Do this again, 6 to 10 times.
You will likely notice that each time you go to take it back, its power will have diminished. Once your heart has let go, let it go for good and forgive. You may need a coach to run through this process with you. Find your mensch and have them coach you through the process. Repeat as needed, until you can finally and totally let the issue go. If, after a couple of weeks, you are still carrying the pain, you need to start asking why. What fear, lie, misconception is keeping this pain attached to you?
I’ll finish here by saying that you can forgive. You can be free. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Be Blessed Aryeh.